I Read Dirty Novels

I picked up this novel on January 1st and I can't put it down! If you were a character in the book, you may have...

• murdered your brother
• experienced complete destruction of the entire planet
• met jealous brothers
• known slutty sisters
• experienced your first pregnancy at age 100
• let your brother have your inheritance in exchange for a bowl of soup
• deceived your spouse, sister, parent, uncle, nephew, your cousin's sister-in-law's nephew
• prostituted your husband
• given birth to twins who were connected hand to foot
• had men knocking down your door to have sex with your male guests (and then you would offer your virgin daughters to them instead)
• seen a strange ribbon of color in the sky
• talked to a snake
• assisted your son in deceiving your blind hubby
• practiced polygamy
• had friends with the strangest names you've ever heard
• lived to be 900+
• prepared to sacrifice your only son to your God
• suddenly not understood a single word the guy next to you is saying
• offered to let your sister have sex with your husband in exchange for food
• tricked your nephew into marrying your homelier daughter
• worked 14 years in order to marry a beautiful woman (was she still beautiful after all that time?)
• asked your hubby to impregnant your maid (3 women did this...so far)
• manipulated for personal gain (is there any other kind?)
• lied about your wife being your sister (multiple times by multiple people)
• produced a superior flock by making the animals look at branches
• gotten your dad drunk so you could have sex with him
• seen cities exploding
• witnessed a woman becomes a salt lick (doesn't this sound Narnia-ish?)

And I still have over a thousand chapters to go! Can't wait!
You can read it too! The Novel