"Here I raise my Ebenezer, hither by thy help I'm come"
Don't look it up!
What in the world is an "Ebenezer"???
Come on...real guesses, people.
No, "Scrooges," "Sneezes," or "Artificial knee joints."
And why do we sing it when it has no meaning to the average person? Is it any different than singing in a foreign language?
Alright, you Bible scholars are dying to show how smart you are!
On New Year's Day, 2000, my mother thought it would be a good idea for our family to create a time capsule. So we all participated in writing down predictions for the future. Where each of the grandkids would be in 10, 20, 30 years. How many great grandkids there would be. Who would be married. Where everyone would be living. Etc, etc. It was a lot of fun.
Sounds like a creative family idea, huh? Well, if your family decides to do it, be sure to remember where you buried it! We're clueless!!!!
...clocks still set an hour behind
...one clock in particular with its pendulum swinging but its hands not moving (what's up with that?)
...light bulbs going out all over the house (why all at once?)
...a broken toilet handle (yes, it still flushes)
...rubber stripping falling off the front door and dragging on the floor
...a creaky floorboard in a high traffic area
...the feeling that someone is living in my attic
...too many steps to vacuum
...a warm basement and a cold bedroom
...cobwebs too high to reach
...a piano I never play
...a refrigerator that beeps IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT to warn me that it is left open ........EVEN THOUGH IT IS ACTUALLY CLOSED! ARGGGGGHHHH!
Okay...the rest of you blog about your husbands and kids. Well, since I don't have either, you'll have to put up with my posts about my nieces and nephews. Who, by the way, are growing up way too fast!
This is one of my all-time favorite photos taken a few years ago. Lauren actually took it herself. It shows Drew's gleaming eyes and adorable, sly grin and Lauren's beautiful curls...a Zorbaugh signature trait. All the Zorbaugh females develop curls around that magical age of 13. Casie will be our last to past the test...she has a few years to go!
Last Week:
I used a $15 ECB coupon to pay for my purchase. The clerk said "I've never seen anyone use such a large ECB coupon before." WOOHOO! I'm famous at the Hampstead CVS! Then, realizing I was a coupon junkie, he said, "Do you want these coupons someone left behind?" Uh...no?
This Week:
When you have curly hair and you find a product you love, you stick with it. Mine is Garnier Fructis Spray Gel. I go through a bottle per month. Garnier coupons are very popular in the Sunday paper so I've been collecting them and watching for CVS to put Garnier products on sale and offer ECBs...this was the week! Today I bought two bottles, paid $4.43 and got $4.00 back. I paid 43 cents for 2 months worth of curls!!
Okay, those weren't nearly as exciting as Jen's incredible deals. But when you are single and don't go through boatloads of toothpaste, toilet paper, laundry detergent and shampoo, you have to celebrate the little things! I think I just enjoying ripping off corporate America. How long before they discover us?
If you are like me, you are probably finding yourself driving more cautiously lately.
Thursday night, around 9:3opm, I left the Fullens and head home traveling north on Rt. 91. As I approached Rt 30 I was still a ways off when the light turned from red to green. Plenty of time for Rt 30 drivers to push through their yellow/orange/reddish light. I had a clear green light so I could proceed, right? But I had this "feeling." "Something" (someone?) told me to slow down and make sure that no one on Rt 30 was extending their yellow light and pushing the red. But by the time I approached the intersection the feeling was so strong I knew I had to make a complete stop at the light. BUT I HAD A GREEN LIGHT!! Who stops at a GREEN light? I'll tell you who...a person who follows those "feelings." Because to my right coming from 30 south was an 18 wheeler at full speed toward his RED light. Not yellow, not orange, not yellow-orange, but completely RED. He didn't brake, didn't slow down, didn't blare his horn to warn me that he discovered his mistake too late and that he knew he was traveling too fast to slow down. If you are familiar with the intersection, you know that that portion of the road is on an incline so he was even accelerating in order to get through the intersection. Yes, he was completely oblivious to the fact that he was running a red light.
In one of those "slow motion" moments, I watched the tractor trailer flash in front of me with the realization that I should have been in front of it.
I should have kept going when I saw the green light.
I should have turned left at the intersection.
I should have been hit by that truck.
I may have ended up in eternity.
But for some reason, I wasn't supposed to.
Now it looks like YOU guys are the ones who are stuck...stuck with me for some reason.
Needless to say, I'm praying again.
I've noticed many blogs have been silent...like mine. If your experience has been similar, you've needed the time to decide what to say. Or even whether to say anything at all. I've decided to make an attempt. I've concluded there are five topics I could write about. I will touch on each.
1. Kevin: I could spend time telling you how awesome he was and how he touched lives. We've heard the stories, read the papers, seen the news. He was a great guy. He will be missed by hundreds.
2. Suzie & the kids: I could write paragraphs about seven remaining Lawyers who have to live with pain and loss. About how much joy they bring to people's lives. About how blessed I am to have them in my life. How my life has changed because they are in it. About how they are going to be stuck with me because I'm not going anywhere!
3. Me: I could go on and on about my own pain. How I'm living in that place between chronic adrenaline and extreme exhaustion. About how torn I am that I can't fix everything for Suzie and the kids which leaves me feeling helpless. How I feel stuck like everyone else...wanting to help but not wanting to intrude. How I've learned that deep down inside I'm a truly selfish person. How I still can't pray, yet worship has taken on a whole new meaning. Odd, huh?
But I decided I really wanted to focus on the last two things...
4. The Church: I was a prenatal church member. I've never known life without attending church. (Yes, I've lived in a bubble and it's not been necessarily healthy, but that's another post for another day.) But after all those years of church experience, I have never seen the church "be the church" like I saw it this past week. And I believe that the very best witness for Christ is His body functioning exactly as He originally planned it...using their gifts for one unified purpose, expanding heaven. I was so in awe and proud of LifePoint people using their gifts in a time of pain, crisis, and even personal grief. It was family in action. Watching hundreds of people step in to orchestrate such a huge undertaking was just overwhelming. I was actually speechless. And then there are Joe and Tricia. I have been so amazed to watch them once again be incredible role models. I try so hard not to put them on a pedestal but they just keep making it so dang hard! Joe's sensitivity in all of his messages lately has been incredible. To talk about unity in the church, and anxiety, and prayer, and to brilliantly keep it focused on "it's really just about a relationship with Christ." There is no place I'd rather be going through this very challenging time than at LifePoint Church. I am so honored to be on the ride with my family.
5. My God: I've already mentioned that I can't pray yet...well, I can when I have to lead a group or my team. But between me and God...not there yet. But it's not about God...my God hasn't changed. He's still loving, still soveriegn, still in control. I'm not angry. I haven't even asked the "why?" questions. I'm not even confused about what happened. I know God is perfect and is so much bigger than our little lives in Carroll County. I know that He is going to bring souls into eternity who would have otherwise never have been there. I don't question any of that. No, God hasn't changed. So if I have the "perfect" solid, unwavering faith, why do I feel rotten all the time. Why am I so sad, empty, numb? Why do I love God but avoid Him?
On Wednesday, the day before the accident, I was driving to church and heard Stephen Curtis Chapman's song "God is God" on the radio. It stuck in my mind that day. I had no idea how much I would need to be reminded of it 24 hours later.
God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture He’s painting
God is God and I am man
So I’ll never understand it all
For only God is God
But I'm still stuck.
