I know that most of my blog readers are moms of young children. The very, very busy type who live a very, very different life than mine. So I completely understand that my posts are basically "un-relatable"...I know, I know, that's not a real word. Bloggers are permitted to create their own words. So when I get to Friday (which is my day off) and finally get the time to blog it is usually about all the things I was able to complete in that one day. I know, you regular readers have seen the pattern. Today was no exception...
- yardwork
- laundry
- cleaned kitchen
- emptied refridge
- made grocery list
- cleaned out car
- paid bills (and am already out of money for September)
- cleaned house to get ready for nieces and nephews this weekend
- general pick up and organization
- sat down and watched storm while I blogged
"Must be nice to have one full day a week without kids under your feet to get so much accomplished."
"What's it like to only do laundry once a week?"
"Wish I could run errands to 4 places in less than an hour."
"Is it really possible to empty fridge, clean kitchen and grocery shop all in one day?"
"She's got it made."
I was leaving the office one day this week and a colleague asked, "Whatcha doin' tonight?" My response was, "I have no idea." He answered with an awkward chuckle and asked, "Really?" Literally. No plans, no commitments, no schedule, no agenda, no responsibilities, not even an idea. Sounds incredibly wonderful doesn't it? In my world, it wasn't. Sometimes freedom is paralyzingly suffocating.
There are no two snowflakes alike.
There are no two people who look alike.
There are no two personalities alike.
There are no two lives alike.
We are all so very different. Yet we play this lifelong dangerous game of comparing apples to oranges.
"You'll never know how hard it is to..."
"But you don't understand what it's like to be..."
"You have no idea what I have to..."
"But I don't have a..."
"Yeah but you've got..."
"Yeah, but..."
"Yeah, but..."
We all may be different but I can guarantee we have this in one thing in common. We've all said, "No one understands what it's like to be in my shoes." I think I've just realized that this statement is 100% true. If we are all so completely different in our personalities, our characters, our economic statuses, our circumstances, our jobs, our homes, our lifestyles, our tastes, our hobbies, etc, when you mix those unique ingredients together you are always going to end up with a unique result. Can others relate to what you are going through? Sure, they may have walked in your shoes for awhile if they have experienced a similar life situation. But they will never have the exact same experience as you because your ingredients will always be different than theirs. The shoe may fit but it will be worn and tattered due to YOUR life not theirs.
So where is this rambling post going besides nowhere? (honestly, I just know that the longer posts are the less chance anyone will read them) Last weekend I saw the movie "Julie and Julia" and I refrained from bursting into tears many times. Julie "found" herself through cooking and blogging. I don't have the space or time here to go into how much I saw of me in her or how God used that movie to speak to me that day. My blog is self-centered because, uh, it's about me. And me is all I've got. Well, me and God. Period. As I watched Julie's transformation, I wondered if blogging could save me the way it saved Julie. No, I'm not going to be a better blogger. At least not here. I'm going to start an unpublished blog (the 21st century spiral bound journal). A place where I can talk when I'm suffocating. A place where I can tell someone about the traffic on the way home, or the nasty email I received, or rant about the price of gas, or complain about the way someone looked at me, or describe the strange phone conversation I had, or discuss menu options for the upcoming week, or tell about the person I saw fall flat on her face in the grocery store, or dream about things I've always wanted to do, or complain about the dead animal smell under the deck, or process the day's staff meeting. Process. Hmmmm, good word. It might just make it into the title. I won't have to worry about grammer, speling, or sentanse struktur. I can speak my mind and only offend myself. Hmmm......I might even swear.
So I don't know what this means for this blog. I haven't been keeping up with it very well anyway. I'll keep you posted. Ha. Not worried about staying connected because all of you are on facebook anyway.
I won't admit how long it has taken me to write this post. It would just add to your list of "advantages of being single."
6 comments:
Oh, please don't go away! I just found you here!!! I didn't know you were a blogger!!! I love the set-up of your site...all the chairs, the colors, very cool! You also underestimate what others might think about your singleness. It's not all it's cracked up to be, no...but the time you have to do all of those things on your list- do NOT feel guilty or like you somehow don't warrant them. This is what fills your life right now...that and the job it sounds you do so well! Be free to sleep in and work on every bit of that list of yours...and take all the time in the world that you want! I'll be back to check up on you, so don't go all old-school paper on me now!
Jodie,
Thank you for this post and your heart. I love that even though we don't see each other nearly enough, that we still share friendship even through blogging and FB. I treasure to hear how God is working in other's lives--it brings perpective and 'Godstops' into my life. And I wish I could write like YOU! Love ya, friend.
Don't go. Write more.
You wouldn't really swear would you? :)
Your post makes a good point that we are all unique and in different stages of life. But we are christian women with a heart for God and that is what brings us together, and that is why I like reading your blog Jodie, it's not just about you, it's also about God. :)
So keep bloggin!
Being a younger version of you, I know what you mean about how frustrating that life can be. Even though I was married, Mike was gone more than home and I would have NOTHING to do. I didnt even know people there, so it was me and the TV. It sucked. I now have Maks, but he is such an easy baby that I am still bored and frustrated with not having enough to consume my time.
I was actually trying to write a post myself, and realized that my entire post was all about Maks. And I was frustrated with that... I had attempted to write "Day 34, and 34 things I have done since he has left..." and it turned into 34 things about Maks. I was upset that I couldnt write 34 things about myself. So continue writing about yourself, dont loose yourself. YOU are what will keep yourself sane. And honestly, its refreshing to not read about someone elses kid.
Jodie, I actually DON'T think all those things that you assume we think about your blog! I may jokingly write a comment like "You can come over to my house any day and help me get half that stuff done" but it's more admiring that you got so much done, not that you're single and therefore have tons of free time.
And your posts aren't at all "un-relatable." What's interesting about blogs to me is that I learn about other people and their life, not about how similar they may be to me. That's what I enjoy about your blog: I learn about YOU!
I don't think your blog is self-centered. We all write about what we experience. You write about the things that fill your life. I write about the things that fill my life. To me, that's the point of blogging! I love hearing about what you do, even housework.
I'm happy to hear that you're going to start a new blog just for you. As you know from my recent post, blogging helped me tremendously during a period of really dark depression. At that time, I felt like the real "me" was smothered out and I didn't know how to get the real me back again. Blogging really helped.
Please know that we love you, and we love your blog! And I honestly don't sit around thinking how perfect your life must be. Life is hard, whether you're single or married, kids or no kids. I feel like we're all in this journey together and hopefully can encourage each other along the way through our blogging.
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