Rubies of Wisdom

In her book, "A Lifetime of Wisdom," Joni Eareckson Tada shares lessons she has learned about pain and suffering. She calls these lessons "rubies of wisdom" based on Job 28:18, "The price of wisdom is beyond rubies." They were so meaningful to me that I wanted to document them so I can refer to them often. Scattered among the "rubies" below are other great truths from the book.

Ruby #1: "Your imagination about God - especially in the midst of tragedy - isn't reliable. We must run to the true portrait He gives us in His Word."


Ruby #2: "If you find yourself in a confining situation, it is God who has confined you. He is the One who has surrounded you and hemmed you in."

"Paul wasn't fixated on his chains, he was focused on his Savior."

Ruby #3: "Just knowing He's with me give me peace, hope, and comfort. I may be confined, but I am not cramped. I have freedom to move when there is no freedom to move. I have breathing room when I'm about to suffocate. I stand in a wide, spacious place when I'm impaled by a thorny, encircling hedge of pain."

Ruby #4: "When nothing seems to be happening, when loneliness settles over your spirit, when pain and grief and anxiety conspire to push you to the edge of despair, remember God's mighty deeds in your life. Remember His kindness, His special, tailor-made graces that fell out of the sky like a gentle spring rain."

Ruby #5: "There is no more important moment in your life than this one."

"If our enemy can keep us occupied with our past or with our future, we lose the grace, blessings, and opportunities in the NOW. And when you lose the present, in a sense you lose everything. Why? Because now is all we have."

"To live with your 'thorn' uncomplainingly - that is, sweet, patient and free in heart to love and help others, even though every day you feel weak - is true sanctification. It is true healing for the spirit. It is a supreme victory of grace." J.I. Packer

Ruby #6: "As we wrap out hands around a problem and in faith press on, strive, and stand firm, divine energy surges through us. We experience the fullness of His grace."

"When I speak of a person growing in grace, I mean simply this - that his sense of sin is becoming deeper, his faith stronger, his hope brighter, his love more extensive and his spiritual-mindedness more marked." Bishop J.C. Ryle

Ruby #7: "My enforced stillness has led me into a deeper firsthand knowledge of God through prayer.

Ruby #8: "We don't wait to live. We have to keep living while we're waiting. Wait patiently and eagerly. But in the meantime get busy with what you know to be your responsibilities."

Ruby #9: "God hasn't promised me happy endings to every life situation, but He has assured me of greater faith. And that's the best ending, anyway."

Ruby #10: "When God denies your dearest desires, get ready to open up your heart even wider, for He will become that desire Himself."

Ruby #11: "What He has taken back in one currency He has given back - a million to one - in the currency of heaven."

Ruby #12: "It isn't thinking about a Place that will lift your heart and make your sorrow easier to bear. It's a Person."

Ruby #13: "God deals with His children as He wills."


Ruby #14: "A faithful response to affliction and hardship and pain accrues a weight of glory."

Ruby #15: "Why does God allow some of His deeply loved sons and daughters to go through trials of body and spirit? Because if they receive that suffering with faith and joy, that supernatural "chemical reaction" (suffering = joy) will supercharge the message of His Son's love."

Keeping Up with the Joneses

Wow...what a productive blog day! THREE fellow bloggers updated in one day. That's unheard of! So I felt the pressure and decided I should, too.

There.

(Sorry, I don't have a...son turning 20, a 3yr old with a bottomless stomach, or a 2yr old who looks like Elvis)

The List...

• bald on top
• crammed in the back seat of a car with multiple Jr Highers
• left in the woods on a flatbed trailer
  
• shopping for something bizarre with Willie Lieberman (don't remember what it was)
  
• Jayden Fullen fighting against her timeout
• a six foot bald eagle
  
• mini monkey-like people crawling out of a giant red velvet bag while I was rolling it in a grocery cart

...just a few of the things I've dreamt about in the last few days.

No, I don't eat before bed.

Maybe

Was hoping for a productive vacation but I've really been dragging. So glad I don't have to be back to work until Monday. Didn't get out of bed until 11am today and it was 1pm before I even had the energy to start getting anything done. Maybe I need to put coffee back into my morning routine.

I've been on a weird cooking spree. Freezer is full of ready meals. Never cleaned up so many cooking messes and ran my dishwasher so many times in two days. Maybe a kind of a nesting phase getting ready for the upcoming crazy, busy two weeks.

The weather has been great for riding but I've had no desire to. Maybe tomorrow.

My hip joint inflammation has returned. Maybe if I had been doing those PT exercises I wouldn't be in pain again.

I've been wanting to work on my "word for 2010" but have had no interest in picking up a book. Maybe by the fire tonight.

My grass is knee high, the weed wacker is sitting on the sidewalk. Maybe I'll do it when it's cooler.

Really need to go pick up my iron script before 4pm today. That's a must, not a maybe.

Exciting Vacation

I am spending my last four days of vacation at home trying to catch-up on personal stuff and to prepare for surgery which is three weeks from today. Had a very slow start this morning because I wasn't feeling great. But meds kicked in and I finally got moving. Today's accomplishments were...

• cleaned out closet to find clothes to donate
• cleaned inside of car
• opened and sorted through vacation mail
  
• called in prescriptions
• picked up labwork script
• got labs completed
• stopped at eye Dr to select new glasses and clarify contact confusion
  
• ran through Target for a few necessities
• completed major grocery shopping
  
• cooked up a storm: shrimp pasta salad, winter barley, chicken pot pie, egg salad, English muffin bread
• blogged! (Happy, Lauren???!!!)
• ...and am about to take a nap. I ran out of iron a week ago (thanks to stupid Dr's office) and I'm starting to feel the effects. Ten hour nights and naps are back. grrr.
  

Tonight's agenda:

• Inception
• Watch the meteor shower

And thanks to new DVR(!!), I can watch the Raven's game tomorrow.

Happy vacation to me!

A Year Later!

A year ago my daddy left for Afghanistan. We were very sad.


Yesterday he returned home safe and sound!


I'm showing him how cool his hat is...

Spending the Holiday...

I have a very busy week ahead so I knew today would be my only opportunity to be productive. And BOY HAS IT BEEN!

• cleaned every inch of the bathroom
• four loads of laundry, ironed and put away
• bed stripped, washed, remade (I hate that job)
  
• dry and wet mopped all hard floors
• vacuumed carpets
• shampooed carpet stains
  
• washed some windows (I can see!)
• attacked STUFF: put away stuff, cleaned stuff, donated stuff, filed stuff, trashed stuff, organized stuff, dusted stuff
  
• cleaned kitchen: oven, fridge, 2 loads in dishwasher, and more stuff
  
• scrubbed window fan
• watered flowers
  
• cooked for the week

It's a very, very good thing I'm still feeling okay. Last night I had a 10 hr night of sleep which isn't supposed to happen anymore but I'm thankful it fueled me for the day.

TWO IMPORTANT THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW:

1) This cleaner, plus a cheap Walmart window squeegee, made the window washing a breeze! I bought this at Bed Bath and Beyond years ago and LOVE it. They still carry it. WORTH the $5.














2) I'm a great aunt again! Matteo Medini entered the world today! 9:49am, 8lbs 2 oz, 21 inches. Born to my niece, Shari. She was induced Friday and finally had a c-section this morning. Whew! Talk about a looooong weekend! Ain't he adorable?
















I think I'm gonna crash tonight. No more STUFF. Well, except for maybe a movie.

Just Another Sunday Evening

So I'm supposed to be off my feet, right?

• water flowers
• fill kitchen sink to clean a large item
• go to basement to get computer
• hear water running
• find it pouring down laundry room wall and onto storage shelves
  
• run upstairs and check sink
• run downstairs and unplugged cable/modem/power strip which are filling with water
• turn off water main
• water doesn't stop
• examine the wall to find the cause
• go to neighbor's to ask her if she has a leak
• wait for her to check her basement
• YES! four inches of water in her basement!
  
• relieved it isn't mine
• frustrated it isn't mine!
• plea for help on facebook (thankful for my phone cuz I have no internet!)
  
• grab towels, fan, trash bags
  
• call my mom and she laughs
• help arrives with shop vac
  
• begin removing and sorting through boxes and boxes of soaked supplies
  
• shop vac, garbage, dehumidifier, wet towels in washer
  
• all cleaned up with cable and modem revived at 11pm!!

Monday morning:

• empty dehumidifier
• call friend to haul away the garbage and mow my lawn
  
• re-run washer cuz I forgot to put towels in the dryer at midnight
• run to Walmart with a helpful friend to get tubs
• repack supplies and restock shelves
• crash on the couch
  

Last week I looked at that area of the laundry room and told myself, "I really needed to go through all that and clean it out." Thanks so much, Dale/Jodie Binkley, Marc Held and Cassie Fritz!

Good grief...those towels are STILL in the washer.

Delinquent Blogger

A friend recently asked, "May I have your blog address? My computer crashed and I lost all my saved info and I always enjoyed staying up on what's happening with you by reading your blog." UH OH! PRESSURE! I quickly admitted to her that I don't blog much anymore but she still wanted my info. I know blogging is "so yesterday" but I'm not one to be "hip" anyway. I'm always about 2 years behind the lastest trend. Yesterday there was a discussion amongst coworkers how facebook is so old school and twitter is IT. Yeah, well...I'm not on twitter. And I honestly don't ever plan to be.

Besides, blogging is for ME not for anyone out there. I don't care if nobody reads ME. It's my diary of sorts. A way to archive ME. So maybe it will only mean something to someone when I'm gone.

Okay...done with the disclaimer. All that to say, I've been offline for awhile...due to the topic of my last post. Since the anemia discovery, I've been inundated with doctors appointments, stabbed with needles eight times, paid a boatload of copays (I don't even want to add them up), spent two days in the hospital, been buried in insurance paperwork, and laid in bed for a week doing absolutely nothing. And I must say, of everything on that list, the last item was the strangest of all. I literally laid around with zero capacity. Couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't read, couldn't pray, couldn't even think. It was the strangest feeling laying around, without pain, but completely helpless. I was even too tired to get bored. I was too tired to even feel any emotion. One would think with all that time on my hands, my mind would race. Nope...it was useless, too. At one point in the hospital I said to friends, "I just want to go to sleep and never wake up."

Well, I "woke up" on Sunday night. What a change! I knew I had turned the corner when I was HUNGRY. Like, really hungry. And I wanted to eat anything. I went back to work this week but every day has been a chore. I get tired very quickly. It is very frustrating to not be able to function at capacity. I struggle with: guilt for not doing enough; selfcenteredness because the enemy tells me that I'm suffering "alone"; impatience because it is a slow process; anger because health issues have been piling one on top of the other and I just can't seem to get a break.

Midst all the chaos of the last two weeks, I had a scheduled procedure that was just "routine." It was the one medical appt in the last month that I didn't give a second thought to because it was just to be a normal annual thing. It ended up being anything but. A few days ago I was told I have to return this week for further testing because of "findings." ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Once again I face a new medical issue with more doctors, more copays, more insurance forms, more anxiety and more decisions. I never imagined I would be handling three major health conditions at once.

So a few days ago I decided to post scripture as my facebook status every morning. Instead of posting something about ME, which usually ends up just being self-absorbed, I decided I needed to focus on God's truths. And boy, has that helped! In just a few short verses I've been reminded of God's presence, strength, deliverance, help, peace and care for me. I am certainly not alone and none of this is a surprise to Him.

But if I'm going to be totally honest, sometimes I still really do just want to go to sleep and not wake up.

Anemia Sucks

(sorry...I never use that word)

Walk up five steps...gotta lie down
Go get the mail...gotta lie down
Take a shower...gotta lie down
Get dressed...gotta lie down
Water flowers...(you get the picture)
Load the dishwasher...
Walk to my car...
Move bike to the basement...
Walk to my neighbors...
Etc etc etc

Can't do the slightest physical activity without my heart racing and my head spinning.

I keep thinking "tomorrow the iron will kick in."
"Tomorrow" please come quickly!!!

Oh...is it "lie" or "lay"? JEN?